Saturday Grumbles

1. Christmas shopping. I understand the almighty buck makes the economy go, which means we can all work, and get the almighty buck, but really. Is it necessary to make those of us with busy, complicated lives feel guilty because we aren't out spending like mad?

2. People who can't drive in rain. C'mon people. You live in western Washington. If you can't drive in rain, move to southern California. I'd rather have fewer cars on the road anyway.

3. Parents who let their kids go to school when they are sick. Heir No. Two sounds like a zombie from Dawn of the Dead because one of his classmates came to school with this week's version of death crud. Enough already. The adults in this house work hard all week, and spending the weekend nursing a sick three year old is not always appreciated.

4. Weekends when the the programmers can't seem to put good movies on. Is it so hard to get a good movie and show it on Friday or Saturday night?

5. Lame bitch lists like this one. I mean, if you're gonna waste the bandwidth, shouldn't you really get something worthwhile to complain about? I think so, too.

Desert Island Singles, Part 3

1. "Sumthin' for Nothin'" Motley Crue. My brother Alex and I were talking about it today on the transatlantic line. I was wrong, bro. It isn't about an assassin. I looked up the lyrics. Damn I was naive back then. Doesn't change the fact that I liked the song.

2. "Every Day I Write the Book" Elvis Costello. Great song, crappy video.

3. "Blood and Fire" Indigo Girls. The restorative power of music will ALWAYS amaze me. This was the most emotional week of my life. I came home last night, and thought that I just had nothing left. No shock, no surprise, no wonder, no hope. And I plugged this CD in when I drove around for a few hours later on. I know I liked it for the singing before. I simply could not have understood the emotional components years ago. I was still exhausted, but the tank has stuff in it again. It is good.

4. "Parisienne Hotel" Johnny Diesel and the Injectors. American Ex-pat in Australia who had one ROCKIN' Bluesy album in the late 80's. Never heard another thing from him. Our loss.

5. "Shame on You" Gun. Scottish band. Good vibe. Painful topics, but great drive. If you can put your pain to music, you can make a buck.

6. "Walk Through Fire" David Baerwald. Still true today. The more I listen to his progression, the more I think he and I went down the same road.

7. "Father, Blessed Father" Newsboys. The dualing rhythyms fascinate me, and yeah, the message ain't bad either.

8. "We Got the Beat" The Go-Gos. Another Drive fast with the windows down and the radio up kinda song.

9. "Forever Autumn" Jeff Lynne. If you have never heard this Rock Opera version of the War of the Worlds, with the stella playing and vocals and Richard Burton (yea, us Welsh dudes!) narrating, then you have missed a singular treat.

10. "Thank You." Dido. I love this track, and I always think of the same person when I hear it now. You know who you are.

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me...

...So I came across this list of movies that make men cry.

Yeah, right. Whatever. Sorry, not a single one of these has ever moved me to tears, no matter how brief. That isn't to say that I haven't been. I can admit that out loud. As long as we're in a listing mood...In no particular order...

1. Lawrence of Arabia. The first thing that pops into my head is the saying "Those whom the Gods would destroy, they first drive mad."

2. Paths to Glory. I could have been Kirk Douglas screaming at his commanding officer. The best Kubrick movie ever.

3. A Bridge Too Far. Which could have also been titled "Why you don't let the British make your battle plans." Way too high a cost paid simply due to piss poor planning. Gene Hackman had the best line in the whole movie.

4. Forrest Gump. First, Gary Sinese in the best frickin performance put on film in my lifetime. Second, the scene when Forrest is talking to his wife at her grave at the end makes my throat close up every single time.

5. Gladiator. Maximus' death was too high a price to pay for a people that wouldn't rise up and squash Commitus like the pathetic bug he was.

6. On Her Majesty's Secret Service. The best Bond story hindered by the worst Bond performance. Dude, they killed Diana Rigg!

7. On the Wings Of Eagles. The fictionalized account of the life of Frank 'Spig" Wead. The part at the end when he is retired due to his poor heart condition, and even his old rival from the Army shows up to see him over the side one last time...

Desert Island Singles, Part Deux

Again, in no particular order:

1. Joe Cocker, You Can Leave Your Hat On. C'mon, you haven't at least fantasized about either stripping for your partner to it, or being the recipient of a strip tease while listening to it? Liar.

2. John Hiatt, Through Your Hands. Tune gets me in the heart every time I hear it. There is a reason he and Bonnie Raitt have a mutual admiration society going.

3. Ministry, Jesus Built My Hotrod. Forever seared into my memory by the early arrival at a closed frat party by the the love of my life. It mattered because I had an unfiltered Camel hanging out of the corner of my mouth as I looked through the stack of CDs to line up the next couple of tracks. The story she recounted about waiting outside with the stripper and being asked "Which Kappa are you dating?" made it clear that she was already...displeased. The cigarette made the evening even more chilly, until we left early.

4. Nine Inch Nails, Head Like A Hole. At one time, Trent Reznor was an evil genius. That was before the evil took over completely.

5. Josh Turner, Long Black Train. I think it is always unfair to compare new stars to old ones, but I swear, every time I hear it, I think "This generation's Johnny Cash".

6. Squeeze, Tempted. The finest breakup song ever. Good playing, amazing vocals. British Blue-eyed soul at its best.

7. The Clash, Pressure Drop. Only a british punk band with conceptions of grandeur decide to cross into regae, bring it back, wrap it around their own sound and make it work.

8. Blue Rodeo, What You Want. From 'Nowhere to Here', or what I referred to as 'The Divorce Album' after my first listen. It is a great song and you can feel the guy's pain in a very Clintonesque way.

9. Chris Rice, Smellin' Coffee. Who says contemporary Christian = boring? This tune is inspirational and funky.

10. Just about any song from MercyMe. I swear these guys have reached into my brain as inspiration for every song they have written. Either that is somehow a good thing, or I am a really pathetic soul.

11. Adam Ant, Strip. Musical Collaborations are so much fun. Phil Collins played the drums on this track, and I think it really made all the difference.

12. Queensryche, Eyes of a Stranger. Geoff Tate has a hell of a set of pipes on him. The entire album is one of my favorite rock operas, and I had the priviledge of seeing them perform it live once. It took two days before I could hear normally again.

13. Van Halen, Why Can't This Be Love? Where to start with the memories on this? I really don't want to get into a Dave/Sammy/What's His Name debate on this. It makes me think of a lot of fun memories, and I'll leave it at that.

14. The Rolling Stones, Sympathy For the Devil. History lesson ala Mick Jager, who probably witnessed it all. What more to say?

15. Aerosmith, Back in the Saddle. For a year, this song came on the radio the exact time I was getting in the car to leave school. A message?

16. Brian Setzer Orchestra, Pennsylvania 6-5000. Another one of those tunes where if you aren't tapping your foot, you don't have a pulse.

17. Barenaked Ladies, One Week. Getting all the words is a challenge when stone cold sober. After you have had a few? Forgedaboutit.

18. The Cult, Love Removal Machine. Just a great rock and roll song.

19. REM, Superman. Everyone knows the best tracks are the ones that are not listed on the back of the jewel case, right?

20. The Alarm, Love Don't Come Easy. I loved this entire album, but this was the standout song. Bluesy, with a gravely voice tellin it like it is.

21. The Band, The Weight. Its been covered, but never improved upon. A classic in its own right, due to a lineup of legends.

22. The Doors, People Are Strange. I once stripped to this. It was for charity and one of my frat brothers thought it would be funny to switch songs on me. I wanted Bruce Hornsby and the Range's Stranded On Easy Street, which also belongs on this list. No I am not going to tell you how much money I made, other than to say I did well.

Part Three, coming soon.

Desert Island Singles, Part One

Ok, As promised, in no particular order:

1. Black Cow, Steely Dan
Incomprehensible lyrics and undeniable bump with their signature funky twist. With out a doubt, my favorite Steely Dan Track.

2. Learn To Love You, Harry Connick, Jr.
This is THE Harry tune as far as I'm concerned. Killer horns, with just the right swank and the singing of a song as only he can.

3. Glory, Glory!, Underworld
From the one album most Underworld fans completely disavow, it was the only one I find listenable. I also liked "I Need A Doctor", "Bright White Flame", and "Rubber Ball".

4. Newborn, Guadalcanal Diary
Like REM, they hailed from Athens GA, but they were always more playful and irreverant. I always like to describe them as "REM, but liquored up." This song always makes me think of the book "Queen of the Damned".

5. The Likes of You, Guadalcanal Diary
From their last real album, Flip Flop. Really solid guitar riffs and a healthy contempt for a certain type of person who can always find the party when everything around them is going to Hell.

6. Mysterious Ways, U2
Really, not too long ago, it never would have gotten past the censors.

7. If I Fall, Evanescence ...[Update...the name is actually "Cloud Nine"...d'oh!]
Every time I hear this song, I just think "Wow."

8. Cowboy Junkies, A Common Disaster
Longing and lost, with resentment and anger, all in one very neat and tidy package, with Margo Timmins' vocals as a bright and shiny bow for the gift.

9. Dwight Yokum, Long White Cadillac
If you don't tap your foot when this song is playing, then you don't have a pulse.

10. Room at the Top, Adam Ant
Part of a very funky record done in the 90's, the song had a balance of swagger and focus that always makes me turn it up when it comes on.

11. Walk Like A Man, Grand Funk Railroad
Flint boys done good on a song that sums up what any 18 to 20 year old man might be feeling on any given day.

12. Up to Our Hips, Charlatans UK
slow grind with very vaguely suggestive lyrics. Sounds best in my car with the volume turned up high enough that the image in the rearview mirror bounces.

13. Sock to Me, Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels
Surprisingly, the song did make it past the censors, for a brief time, but like most of his classic songs, you just have to sing along.

14. Hippychick, Soho
If any one has this on CD, let me know. I wore the cassette out years ago. "...Got no flowers for your gun, no hippychick. Won't make love to change you're mind, no hippychick..."

15. Late Night Grande Hotel, Nanci Griffith
Hate her politics, but this song has summed up exactly how I have felt at different times in my life.

16. More Than This, Roxy Music
Another song about longings, but it has a way of worming into your brain.

17. Damn, I wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins
Yes, I also have heard that she is a lesbian, but shit, this was another song that grabbed me the very first time I heard it, and it never let go. It didn't hurt any that she was easy on the eyes, too.

18. I'm Lost and Then I'm Found, The Godfathers
I never understood why these guys never caught on. If you've never heard 'em, go check 'em out on You Tube.

19. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby (and the Range)
I've seen him in concert three times. Each time, the guy's skill leaves my jaw on the ground. A very different version of this song each time.

20. 7, Prince or symbol boy or whatever the hell he calls himself this week...
No, I don't really know what the song is about, but I dig the funky crawl its got.

21. Can't Do A Thing To Stop Me, Chris Issak
How many people can do a retro-sounding lounge lizard type track with a vibraphone and make it work? Really?

That's enough for now, boys and girls. And now....the blowtorches please!!!

Y'all Get Your List of Desert Island Singles Together...

...so we can compare notes this weekend. Seriously. I'll be fun. I'll bring the Pretzels, you bring the beer and your lists.

Desert Island Discs

I was thinking today about the soundtrack of my life. It has been rough edged, contemplative, stuffed with a-ronk, a little funky, precise, intensely beautiful, swanky, and evocative. The criteria are simple. To count, you have to like EVERY song on the disc, and you have to say WHY. Come on. Play along at home, y'all. Don't get hung up on the various songs, the Singles version of this post will be another time, and believe me, my list for that will be very different from this one. So, without further fanfare...

1. U2-The Joshua Tree/Rattle and Hum Ok, so technically they are two different albums, but in spirit, Rattle and Hum was the continuation of an exploration of a distinctly American sound to explore some seriously spiritual themes. The Joshua Tree always takes me back to 1987, and my trip (as a spectator) to both the road and track bicycle races of the Pan-Am Games in Indiana.

2. Chris Issak- Heart Shaped World I had a handful of cassettes on heavy rotation in my car in both High School and College. This was one of them. The guy can sing, the guy can play, the lucky bastard got to wrestle with half-naked swimsuit models while fiming videos. What wasn't to like?

3. The BoDeans-Home This album boasted some serious influences from other sources which put a very different spin on their folksy sound. The collaborations with the likes of U2 and Robbie Robertson put even more emotion into the songwriting, a little more polish in the production, and Kenny Arnoff's drumming put the entire package on wheels and set it on the road.

4. Robbie Robertson-Robbie Robertson A prime example of creating a mood. Interesting cross pollination, with U2 sitting in on "Sweet Fire Of Love", and the BoDeans chiming in on "Testimony". A mix of powerful lyrics, evocative music from a true rock and roll legend.

5. Miles Davis- Kind of Blue What can I say? Simply one of the greatest jazz albums of all time. It fits any mood and any occasion.

6. The Charlatans UK- Between 10th and 11th Simply one of my favoritist albums ever. The combination of trippy reverb, genius keyboard, and distant lyrics in an eminently singable format put this album right in to heavy rotation.

7. The Clash- London Calling When new movements in rock music emerge, some acts blend, and some transcend to find a much greater shelf life. This album took them out of the three chords and a snarl that personified punk, and showed why they are hall of famers.

8. Patsy Cline- 12 Greatest Hits Sorry. She IS the voice of country music for me. An absolutely stunning talent who died way too soon.

9. The Cowboy Junkies- Whites Off Earth Now The Trinity Sessions proved that you don't need no steenkin' money to make a classic album, but WOEN showed that the band could PLAY. Their renditions of "State Trooper" and "Decoration Day" came from my speakers on many a dark Michigan Road.

10. Blue Rodeo-Diamond Mine Their second album boasted the mad skills, solid songwriting, and very cool jam sessions that have become their signature style. The best Canadian import you never heard of.

11. Harry Connick Jr.-She Solid, contemporary songs with good lyrics, and a funky little bump that served as his announcement to the world that he really can sit in anywhere. It doesn't have my favorite Harry tune, but you can't have everything.

12. Elvis Costello-My Aim Is True. Sharp lyrics, good playing, and a few classic tunes make this Elvis album that I will always have in my collection. "miracle man" and "Waiting for the end of the world" are never too far from the front of my brain.

Suggestions? Put Downs? Changes?