What Do They Know, Anyway?

I took Heir No. One to the Blue and Gold Banquet last night for cub scouts. On the tables, they had the placemats from chinese restaurants...the ones that show the Chinese Zodiac. I was reading mine.

The Boar: Noble and chivalrous. Your friends will be lifelong. You are prone to marital strife. Most compatible with a sheep.

"You are prone to marital strife?"
What the hell did I do to deserve that? Really?

My survey of the other signs showed that no one else gets saddled with that particular gem. What the heck? Do they hate me because I'm tall? Because I was fortunate enough to be born here? I just don't understand this. I like Chinese food. I don't badmouth their people. Their government sucks, but it isn't mine...at least not until the Obamessiah is anointed President, so why the heck did they dump this crap on me?