Dinner was good...

...because I had made up my mind to have a good time and try to keep the boys from getting out of control. It didn't take long. Heir No. One has Aspergers. That means a disruption in routine can be catastropic in terms of his feelings and how he reacts to things. He usually gets amped up a few days before a holiday, starts breaking out in hives, requiring doses of Benedryl.

This was no different. It started yesterday. When we got there today (he stayed a Papa and Nana's overnight), he was already upset about something. Once I got Heir No. Two settled, I went to my in-laws bedroom, where my wife had taken Heir No. One. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed, crying. My wife informed me that he was in a time out for throwing a fit about not getting a turkey leg. He was very upset, and shouted about wanting a turkey leg. I softly asked her to let me talk to to him, and then asked her to go out and enjoy her meal with everyone else.

I crossed the room, and got on my knees so I could look him in the eyes. I started to talk to him and explain that he didn't ask Papa before hand, so all the meat was taken off the turkey leg. He got upset again, screaming about how he didn't want any more Thanksgivings. I kept calm, and told him that he was at a 4 and he needed to be at a 1 before we could talk, and I turned around, leaning back against the chair and stretching my legs out in front of me. I waited until I heard the sniffling slow down, and then I asked him to come sit with me.

He got down into my lap, and I very quietly started to talk to him about it again. He started shouting again, and at that time, Nana walked in, and he started shouting at her. She left, and then my wife walked in with his coat and shoes, and suggested I take him for a drive, because he was disturbing dinner. I asked for a few more minutes. She hesitated. She whispered to me that it hurt her to see him like this. I whispered back that I understood, but I thought we could work it out. She stood for another minute, watching, her empathy leaking out of every pore, then left to rejoin the family at dinner. I pulled his coat up over him and gently rocked him, letting him calm back down before I said anything more. Once again, the tears slowed, and the pauses between the sniffles got louder. I asked him "Its hard with all these people here, and all this stuff going on, isn't it?"

He first nodded affirmatively, then said "Yeah Dad, its hard. Really really hard." I could hear the catching in his throat and his voice cracking. I didn't have to see his face to know the tears were welling up again. I've been there too many times lately myself. I asked him if I could tell him about Thanksgiving at my Grandpa and Grandma's house when I was his age. Once more, and affirmative nod and a sniffle.

"I know its hard for you E. It was hard for me, too. Do you remember meeting my Grandpa the last time we all went back to Michigan. I took that picture of you and him wearing the silly glasses?"

"Yeah."

"Well he and my Grandma had a really big house south of where your grandpa and grandma used to live there, and just like it is here for you with Papa and Nana, I was there so much with them that it felt like my house, but then when holidays came, things got all moved around, and they were always so busy with things, and the house smelled different because grandma made all the food, and then my aunts and uncles would all show up and there would be a lot of people in the house, and it didn't feel right and I didn't always know how to act. But there was always lots of good food, and my Grandpa would make a fire in the fireplace in th family room, and sometimes it would snow, and I could go sledding on the hill in back of their house, and so even though it was hard, I still had fun, and now I have some really good memories."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I think I'm hungry, but I know I can't eat in here."

"You're right. You can't eat in here, but if you calm down a little more, we can go out there and eat. I know Nana made a really good turkey, and there are rolls, and pickles, and sparkling Apple Cider..."

"I think I'm calm now, Dad. Can I sit next to you while we eat?"

"Sure. Do you want to pray first?"

"Yeah!"

(I love how it just always seems to calm him down.)

We prayed, and then I looked him in the eye, and said "I'll get your dinner plate ready, but I need you to do something for me."

"What, Dad?"

"You need to go apologize to Nana. This is her house, and you do not get to disrespect her in her house...or anywhere else, for that matter. Don't make a big production out of it. Be discrete. Go whisper in her ear."

We were walking out as my wife returned. "Everything ok?" She asked, the question as much in her eyes as on her lips.

"Yes. He is going to apologize to Nana, and I'll get his plate ready."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Can we eat in the kitchen with J?"

"Yes."

My wife prepared his plate as I watched him go out and apolgize to my mother-in-law. She hugged him, and said "That's OK.", and I ate my Thanksgiving dinner in the kitchen, sitting with my boys.

He still got a little excited, but he had a great day.
I think my wife and I agreed that even though there was stress, it was probably the best Thanksgiving we have had.



Grandpa, I really wish you and I could talk right now.

Thanksgiving

I had to share this.

If you don't like it when I start to get controversial, then leave now, because this is about life, love, faith, Thanksgiving, and most of all, God.

If you have been reading this page for a while, then you undoubtedly have come to recognize that I am a Christian, occasional uncharitable thoughts aside, and that I am deeply offended by the repeated attempts of the libatards of this nation to re-write history to deny the obvious Judeo-Christian influence on our nation's law and character. We see this in the attempts to recast our Holidays in ways that either ignore or are hostile to Christianity. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where it has been difficult for these asshats to accomplish that goal. To have Thanksgiving, you have to be thankful to someone, and that someone is the elephant in the room that the left tries so hard to ignore. A review of the history of the holiday shows just how bankrupt the left's attempts at revision are. Let's start with Washington's Thanksgiving proclamation.

General Thanksgiving
By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America
A PROCLAMATION
WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establifh a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

Source: The Massachusetts Centinel, Wednesday, October 14, 1789

Hardly sound like the words of a 'deist', do they? Another revision of history dispelled. But it didn't stop there. Lincoln's 1863 Thanksgiving Proclamation really sticks a finger in the eye of those who want us to reject and be ashamed of out history. If you think about it, it really shouldn't surprise you. He gets a complete thumbs up in my book for doing what was necessary to hold this nation together in THE darkest chapter in our history. He himself, a lifelong christian, did not profess himself to truly be a Christian until after the battle of Gettysburg. I don't know how any Commander In Chief could comprehend the true nature of the destruction, and death (60,000 Americans) and not be changed or feel the awful weight of the responsibility that he was charged with. I sometimes think that if he hadn't have been assassinated, he still would have died to somehow be denied a continued life in the Union he was dedicated to restoring, much the same way Moses lead the people of Israel through the desert for 40 years, only to be denied entry into the promised land.

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

Thinking about this put a different spin on some thoughts that I had already coalesced in the last few days.

This has been both the best and worst year of my life. I started to seriously walk down the road of recovery, and finally came to the point where I could hear God giving me the final piece I needed to take control of my life. Then I was brought face to face with the damage I have done in the my life, and the sorrowful consequences that resulted from that damage. While trying to understand the extent of the damage, I have been given news that raises the question of my own mortality, and while considering the implications of so many things left undone, that I may not have time to fix, more salt was poured into that wound.

If anyone has a reason to be angry, it would be me. And while anger is one of the many emotions I am feeling, it isn't primary. Actually, as much physical and emotional pain I am suffering, I have to say "Praise God!", even through the tears. Because of him, I know what I am feeling. He brought me down this path. If this happened three years ago, I would have just closed in on myself, and been very, very angry. Now, I can realize that there is anger, that there is disappointment, that there is resentment, that there is betrayal, that there is sadness. More importantly, I can consider why I have these feelings, and that is the reason why I am thankful today, this week, this month, RIGHT NOW.

I am thankful for my wife, and the years we shared, even when I shared very little with anyone, including her.

I am thankful for two young men who constantly provide me with joy, and reasons to be proud, even as they frustrate me for the same reasons.

I am thankful for the fact that we have a home, whatever is going on under its roof.

I am thankful we all eat, and have clothes.

I am thankful that God cares enough to restore us to what he intended.

I am thankful to live in a country where I can say that.

I am thankful for whatever is next, because I can feel it, and share it with those who love me.

I am thank for for the family that I was born with, and my chosen family on the sidebar, and at the Rott.