A Guest Post From Dick

Dick and I were discussing the fact that Haloscan kept coughing up a hairball yesterday, so he couldn't add this in the comments. I made an open invitation to him to guest post whenever the mood struck him, so here it is:

1. What time is it?
An irrelevant question.

2. What's your full name?
Dick

3. What are you most afraid of?
Nothing. Death's a piece of cake and Liberals readily bleed.

4. What was the last movie that you saw in a theater?
Harry Potter something.

5. Place of birth:
Dallas, Texas

6. Favorite food
Rib-eye steak, grilled corn on the cob, and baked potato.

7. What's your natural hair color?
Strawberry blonde. It used to be fluorescent red when I was a kid.


8. Ever been to Alaska?
Yep, why?


9. Ever been toilet paper rolling?
I called in an artillery strike once or twice and ran a couple of ambushes. Does that count?

10. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Bawawawawhahahahahahahaha!!!!! You're shitting me, right? At least this is funny.

11. Been in a car accident?
Yep, helicopter crash too.

12. Croutons or bacon bits:
I'm leaning towards McCain now that Fred's out of the running. Wikipedia him and you'll see why.

13. Favorite day of the week:
Ya know, most people believe that a weapon has to be saturated in oil to function properly. Wipe all of that shit of, would ya?

14. Favorite restaurant:
None. Kelly's culinary artwork stomps the shit out of every restaurant on the planet.

15. Favorite Flower:
Dead or free. Take your pick.

16. Favorite sports to watch:
Fucking Cowboys... Jessica Simpson is the Devil.

17. Favorite drink:
Cuervo Black tequila. No ice, no salt, room temperature. The pussies that waste it to make margaritas should have their asses removed.

18. Favorite ice cream:
What the fuck ever...

19. Disney or Warner Brothers:
Doesn't matter, they both suck.

20. Ever been on a ship?
Yep, been kicked off one too.

21. What color is your bedroom carpet?
What carpet? The bare concrete is a natural gray.

22. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Is this a test for idiots?

23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
Kelly, she wants a dog...

24. What do you do when you are bored?
I'm never that bored. Sorry about your life.

25. Bedtime:
Kelly'd get pissed if we started yakking about this kind of shit. So let's not and just say we did, m'kay?


26. Who will respond to this [post] the quickest?
Who cares?

27. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?
I won't send this crock of shit to anybody I like.

28. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses?
Nobody around here makes my house payment, so honestly, I could care less.

29. Favorite TV show:
None

30. Last person you went to dinner with:
My wife.

31. Who do you think will be President?
The high yeller mooncricket, at least according to the current level of stupidity within this country.

32. What are your favorite colors?
Black. I'd paint a room with a color darker than black, then trim in out in black to lighten it up a bit.

33. How many tattoos do you have?
None. Surprised?

34. How many pets do you have?
None, but I have a few cats who reside in the same residence.

35. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
What are we cooking?

36. What do you want to do before you die?
Skin alive the assclown who thought up these dumbass questions

37. Have you ever been to Hawaii?
No.

38. Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?
Yes, all of them.

39. How many people are you sending this [post] to?
Fuck off.

40. Time this survey ended:

No shit.