Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Well, if you weren't questioning the wisdom of this before, you should now.

WASHINGTON — The $146 billion stimulus package intended to jolt the economy by giving taxpayers rebates up to $1,200 includes cash returns for illegal immigrants who pay taxes.

Brought to you by the same ding-a-lings who thought that it would be a good idea to give terrorists a state.

Under the plan passed by the House, illegal immigrants who qualify as "resident aliens" and earned a minimum of $3,000 would be eligible for rebates of between $300-$600, FOX News has learned.

Thus proving that Congresscritters are utterly and completely incapable of grasping the meaning of the word "Illegal".

Only those illegals who have been assigned an Individual Tax Identification Number that allows them to file income taxes would be eligible. Resident aliens are defined as people who spend a "substantial" amount of time in the U.S. and have not been deported.

Am I the only one who has questions sprouting up like daisies...like "How in the name of Chithuilu does an illegal alien get a freaking TIN?" Or "How does not being deported grant you a 'resident' status?"

The provision has irked illegal immigration opponents, who say the assigning of TINs and collection of taxes from illegals sanctions their presence in the country.

Duh, and see above.

Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., told FOX News that the bill will certainly stimulate "more illegal immigration."

How could it not? The coyotes are getting rich now.

The stimulus plan met with overwhelming bipartisan support Tuesday, passing the House 385-35 with little debate after House leaders and White House negotiators came to agreement last week.

Opponents of the illegal immigrant eligibility provision point out that the House considered the bill under "suspension of the rules." Suspension provisions allow the House to expedite bills and don't open them up to the usual amendment process.

Rules like those that make it illegal to sneak into the country and steal services from those who actually pay for them?

The plan, which would send at least some rebate to anyone with at least $3,000 in income— with more going to families with children and less going to wealthier taxpayers — faces an uncertain future in the Senate.

Yeah, sure. And monkeys are going to fly out of my butt.

Senate Democrats and some Republicans support a larger package that adds billions of dollars for senior citizens and the unemployed, and reduces the rebate for individuals to $500 and $1,000 for couples.

Because the Senate can out bribe the House any day of the week. And we expect them to. Am I the only one hoping that adults will return to Washington in my lifetime?

The Senate version written by Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus would deliver checks even to the richest taxpayers, who are disqualified under the House-passed measure.

Which would make even more sense if we didn't give anything to people who DIDN'T PAY TAXES. Attention Congress: Mr. Webster is calling. He takes issue with your abuse of the word 'Rebate'.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid blasted the proposal to send rebates to those with higher incomes, saying it "causes me to want to gag." The feeling is widespread among Democrats, he added, saying the "the gag reflex is coming upon everybody" over the plan.

Spoken like a true communist with no understanding of the English language. The best part? He gets to draw his pay for the rest of his life, which we can only hope will be mercifully abbreviated.

President Bush and House leaders urged the Senate to take the bipartisan agreement and pass it quickly, even as Baucus, D-Mont., planned a Wednesday vote in his committee on a larger package that could face a slower path.

Which goes to show that if you stay in DC long enough, you too could suffer dain braimage.

"We need to get this bill out of the Senate and on my desk," Bush said in the Oval Office.

You'd think he was running for re-election. Hey, Genius, how about real tax relief in the form of permanent cuts for those of us who actually PAY them?

Congressional leaders are aiming to send the measure to Bush by Feb. 15. But the divergent plans — and bids by Senate Democrats and Republicans to swell the package with more add-ons — could drag out that schedule.

Happy belated Valentines. Does anybody smell bacon?

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said she hoped the Senate would "take this bill and run with it."

All the way to her [illegal] constituents.

Reid, D-Nev., said that was unlikely in the freewheeling Senate, where members have elaborate wish-lists for adding to the bill, including food stamps, Medicaid and heating assistance for low-income people and spending on infrastructure projects, among other things.

How dare they try to tie it into something, even if the value is dubious.

"I think that there's 51 Democratic senators without exception who believe this package can be made better," Reid said, adding that he also expected to have enough GOP support to change it.

A vote-whoring we will go!

Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., the minority leader, said reopening the deal would be inappropriate.

And your point is???

"This is not a time to get into some kind of testing of wills between the two congressional bodies. This is a time to show we can rise above partisanship, do something important, and do it quickly," McConnell said.

Do something important? And break with years of tradition of stoking the fire of unenlightened self-interest? Seriously, I don't expect legislation that means a damn being introduced in either house until a few more terrorist attacks happen here on American soil.

The House plan brought together Democrats and Republicans, both of whom surrendered cherished proposals to reach a deal and cautioned against adding items that could hinder an economic recovery or scuttle the agreement.

Like giving away money we don't have to people who didn't pay it in to begin with? No. That really wouldn't hinder an economic recovery, would it?
"It's important that this bill not get overloaded. I have a full agenda of things I would like to have in the package, but we have to contain the price," Pelosi said. "We made a decision, because that's where we could find our common ground."

Because the bourgoise middle and upper classes still won't let us seize their property outright. We need to finish collecting their guns, first.

Americans "expect us to find ways to work together, not reasons to fight with each other," said Rep. John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, who forged the agreement with Pelosi in consultation with Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson.

Fight. Please. Show a glimmer of reason.

"The sooner we get this relief in the hands of the American people, the sooner they can begin to do their job of being good consumers," Boehner said.

If everyone spent it, it would be a measly 2% increase in GDP for THAT quarter, making it a whopping .5% for the year. Pull the other leg. It plays "Jingle Bells."

The measure would send rebates to some 111 million people, including roughly 35 million families who don't make enough to pay income taxes. Individuals with adjusted gross income of $75,000 and couples making $150,000 would get rebates equal to the taxes they paid, up to $600 for individuals and $1,200 for couples. Those making more than that would see their rebate go down by 5 percent of every dollar of income over the limits.

Thus demonstrating the analogy that the poorest guys at the lunch don't buy any of it.

Taxpayers would get at least $300, even if they paid less than that in taxes — or $600 for couples. That's also the case for those who don't pay income taxes but earn at least $3,000.


All eligible people would get an additional $300 per child.

Cash in on those anchor babies, Rosita Juanita.

In the Senate, Baucus' proposal removes the income caps and would send rebates to some 20 million senior citizens not covered by the House plan because they don't have income. Baucus' plan also extends unemployment payments for 13 weeks for those whose benefits have run out, with 26 more weeks available in states with the highest jobless rates.

He got conused. The license to print money is opening a McDonalds next to a day care center or a Taco Bell on a college campus.

The Senate measure would restore a business tax break dropped during the House negotiations that would permit corporations suffering losses now to reclaim taxes previously paid.

Wow. A broken clock IS right twice a day.

Both packages include roughly $50 billion worth of tax incentives for businesses to invest in new plants and equipment.

This being the second time.

To address the mortgage crisis, the House bill would raise the limit on Federal Housing Administration loans from $362,790 to as high as $729,750 in expensive areas, allowing more subprime mortgage holders to refinance into federally insured loans. To widen the availability of mortgages nationwide, it also would boost the cap on loans that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac can buy, from $417,000 up to $729,750 in high-cost markets. Those measures would expire at the end of the year.

Interesting. Tell me more.

Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y, said Tuesday that he plans to ensure those changes are part of the Senate stimulus bill.

Schumcky Schumer, Arbiter of Truth (tm).