Lawsuits Over Thong Malfunctions...

Victoria's Secret is being sued for a thong injury by a 52 year old female traffic cop.

Fast Forward to a forum in the Court TV coverage:

"...well, the acceptable tolerances for sudden "sparkle disengagement" from a thong is only 11 inches, traveling at a speed of 1 ft/sec, and this particular design is inherently unsafe because the average "sparkle disengagment" is 27 inches at 3.5 feet per second, which is sure to cause damage to cranial facial areas. In this case, it was reckless to put such a product on the market, and VS should be liable for her full damages, up to and including reconstructive surgery to her face."



"And if VS would post warnings that say "WARNING: IF YOU ARE A FAT OLD COW, DO NOT BUY THE SPARKLY THONGS BECAUSE YOUR CONDITION CAN LEAD TO CATASTROPHIC "SPARKLE DISENGAGMENT" AND CAUSE BLINDNESS IN ANYONE UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO SEE YOU IN ONE?"



*With a totally straight face* "I'm not sure that any warning is appropriate for such an unsafe product."

Sure. Laugh now, but you wait. It is coming.