Adventures in Parenting, Chapter 447...

Well, I got great amusement from this post over at PJ Momma's place and I let slip about the time when Heir No. 1 thought he got a button stuck up his nose.

I can hear you saying "He did what?"

Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction too.

It was a summer day two years ago. I stayed home to watch the boys because my childcare was not available. Heir No. Two was sleeping on our bed, and I was in the bedroom folding laundry. Heir No. One came out of his room and ran into the bathroom. He had been making a game of it, seeing if he could hold it until his eyeballs threatened to burst, so I didn't think too much of it, even after he had been in there longer than usual.

When he finally came out, he tried to sneak by my room. I called out to him, and he turned, revealing a trail of blood all the way down the front of his t-shirt. Alarmed, I asked "What did you do?"
He immediately started crying, and through the blubbering, I divined that he had, for some reason, shoved a button up his nose, and it got stuck. As soon as it became clear that he was not having difficulty breathing and wasn't suffering any significant pain, I tried to stifle my laughter at his predicament. He stood there, leaning up against me, crying and blubbering because he thought I would be angry with him. I wasn't thrilled. I figured that if this visit to the doc didn't get a follow up from CPS, nothing would. I tried to calm him down, then I called the doc. The nurse made me hold for a minute, then came back on and asked me to repeat the story. I can only assume she had to gather everyone around and put me on the speakerphone. I swear I heard her snicker as she said to bring him in right away.
You can guess what happened next. The doc, being a consummate professional kept her composure during the exam. I suppose she's looked into far more frightening orifices in her time. She couldn't find anything and referred us to the ears, nose, and throat specialists up the road. Back in the car and up the hill.

That doc took an xray because she didn't see anything on her exam either. It revealed nothing, so she took me aside and expressed the opinion that since nothing was on the xray, and he didn't appear to be suffering sinus pain, then he most likely dislodged the button. If his condition worsened, then of course she wanted to see him again.

Three hours and $75 later, the three of us got in the car to go home.

The good news is that he hasn't shoved anything up his nose since.

And if you are wondering, yes, I will recount this tale to the first serious girlfriend he has. Just because I can.