Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Since I Commented On This A Few Months Back, I Just Can't Seem To Leave It Alone.

In the Chinese Zodiac, I am Boar, and in real life, I am a bore.

Anyway, I was reading a placemat a few months back, and I noticed that the Chinese have chosen to saddle me with marital strife. And to think, I didn't get them anything. Since then, I have enjoyed reading different versions of the Chinese zodiac trying to figure out if they all want to screw me over, or if it was that particular printer who had it in for me. I offer a few samples, with some commentary.

From Rainfall.com:
Boars are self-reliant, very sociable, dependable,and extremely determined. Boars are peace lovers and don't hold grudges. They hate arguments, tense situations, and try to bring both sides together. In life they make deep and long-lasting friendships. Boars enjoy social gatherings of all kinds, and look for parties to attend. In fact, Boars must watch themselves so that their incessant pursuit of pleasure doesn't interfere with other aspects of their lives. Boars belong to clubs and they make terrific fund raisers. They have a real knack for charity and social work. Boars always listen to problems. They won't mind getting involved and try to help. Boars have big hearts. A problem that Boars have is that they are too innocent and naive. Being honest and trustworthy themselves, they have a hard time understanding the motives of those with less scruples.

Where to start?
I am not a peace lover, I am not necessarily very sociable, and I have always hated fundraisers. I have no quarrel with the rest of it.

Boars do not dazzle or shimmer. They possess the old-fashioned chivalry that grows on you until you totally depend on it. It is so easy to trust Boars. They have a calm expression and a sincere manner. They are blessed with endurance and work steadily at tasks with great patience until completion.

Depends on the task. If I don't find it scintilating, my patience has limits.

Once Boars arrive at a decision nothing stops them. Of course, before they reach that decision they weigh all the pros and cons. They definitely want to avoid complications. Sometimes they ponder so long they miss the opportunity altogether. But never mind, Boars always believe in miracles, and miracles always happen to them. Fortune favors Boars. They always find someone to help them without having to beg.

Maybe there's something to this. Things have a way of working out sometimes.

In romance, if not careful, Boars may be taken advantage of. Boars trust everyone and believe everything they hear. They are unselfish and enjoy helping their friends. Although they are gullible, they are actually quite intelligent and know how to take care of their own. If you hurt their feelings, Boars often carry the pain for years. They have a hard time saying no to those of concern. Often they wish they had said no.

I'm going to reserve comment.

Boars will always be looking for ways to work off all their extra energy. They work and play hard. Even if they lose everything, Boars manage to bounce back. Their life path supply them with all they need. The Chinese believe Boars own the Horn of Plenty.

That's ok. I'll take it. At least you didn't see fit to try to screw with my marital life.

From www.c-c-c.org:
The Year of the Pig

1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007

People born in the Year of the Pig are chivalrous and gallant. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For Boar Year people, there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don't make many friends but they make them for life, and anyone having a Boar Year friend is fortunate for they are extremely loyal. They don't talk much but have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling. They are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad problems seem to be, Boar people try to work them out, honestly if sometimes impulsively. They are most compatible with Rabbits and Sheep.

Ok, they don't hate me either.

From www.chinatoday.com:

PIG: You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out. You are sincere, tolerant, and honest but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive. Your quest for material goods could be your downfall. The Pig would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possible a lawyer.

Quest for material goods? Hahahahahahahaha! Missed that by a mile. so I would be good as a lawyer? That's good to know....

From Chinese.astrology.com:

Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac. Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise). This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling.

Nothing to complain about there...

A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner.

Uhhh, I have to rely on the perceptions of others here. I obviously am incapable of objectivity.

Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.

Seem to have nailed this...

I can see the commonalities, and I guess I'll let the chinese off the hook, this time, but apparently I shouldn't be trusted with my own heart. I wish someone had told me that sooner.