Respect

Respect is a quality that I have spent a lot of time considering of late. Depending on the relationship, it can be multi-layered, but there are a few common manifestations of it that I have observed successful people using every day.

1. It is the ability to make the other person feel like they are the most important person in the world. Some people can fake this, but most people, even idiots, can see through the insincerity.

2. Those who genuinely care have that concern for EVERYONE. I don't care who you are, that takes practice, because some people can be very hard to love.

3. That degree of concern requires a level of actively listening that I have yet to master. You must say enough to demonstrate that you are actively listening, but not enough that you are interupting. You must reserve judgment until the other person indicates they are done, which requires a certain 'interested neutrality' that I have never possessed. And finally, you have to know when you are expected to listen and empathaize, and when you are expected to offer a potential solution.

4. Don't ever 'lawyer' the person who is talking to you, whether they are a client, coworker, freind, or spouse.

Some people never learn these skills, some are teachable. I'm in the latter, and still working on it.