Part of My Continuing Recovery

During most of my adult life, I really had not seriously looked at another woman. My wife has always found this odd, but when you live in your own mental box where you don't ever really let anyone in, it isn't so odd.

Part of what started my mental turnaround was a book that suggested among other things, you need to rediscover beauty because it is something that God put in the world for you to appreciate. That includes appreciating the beauty of his last and most wonderous creation. Of course the emphasis is on appreciation, not immersion or "experience". Fair enough, and now I can finally confess that I have have endured some pretty awful movies for a dose of her.


Don't ask me why, but she very much reminds me of a woman who decided to spend an evening with me way back in the mists of time when I rushed Kappa Delta Xi. I never knew her last name, and never saw her again after she left the party, but I do remember more than a few fellow pledges (and members) who were mystified at the fact that she spurned their advances, and chose to approach me, and monopolize my time for the rest of the evening. The experience actually inspired me to write a short story at the time, but that is a story for another time. Suffice to say, its always been one of those mysteries that has somehow felt better remaining a mystery.

Its not like I'd ever want to date her, but I just can't help but to appreciate what I see when I see her.